I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
