i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
