also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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