she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
