Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
