sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
well you can't waste a boner
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
