New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
