that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
