i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
