oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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