I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is Oprah even human
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
