Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
