He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
