If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't turn off my feet"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
