if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
