As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Someone came in the potted fern
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
