Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
