Yo dont text me then not text me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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