Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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