covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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