this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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