my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
