I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
