Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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