Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
