O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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