Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
