yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
