I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
