so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
