I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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