Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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