Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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