she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
