I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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