He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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