Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
