East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
