Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
