thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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