Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
