Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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