VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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