I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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