im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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