im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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