idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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