so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Can Purell be used as lube?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
