i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
