Banned from zoo.
Again?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
