she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
