Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
